Client session
A client speaks within the context of the session. As they
speak their words are articulated for the first time, whilst the story may have
been told before, it hasn’t been told in this context, it hasn’t been told this
time before, it is unique.
The clients words don’t represent some thought they have
just had that is then articulated, rather their speech is their thought. Their
speech emerges in the context they find themselves, in some ways their speech
speaks them on the basis of the direction of attention they have in the world.
There is then a similarity between speaker and listener as
the speaker’s words are available for both of them to listen to. In the listening then you might hear
descriptions, evaluations, relations, explanations and an introduction of cast
and narrative. The focus might be on the past, present or future. In the
listening you might also hear a doing, what is being done by this speaking, a
showing myself as something, an asking for help, a showing you how thigns are
for me at the moment or a being angry.
The speaking will as well have a certain shape, like a piece
of music or a story, how long are themes stayed with and developed, is the
story linear, how much disagreement is there, what is the affect that colours
it.
In the speech then there is content, process and form that
can be attended to. A what, a why and a
how if you like. The speech is constructed
within this context, between these people at this time of your life and
seemingly the relation with the context informs the what is said.
Hearing and understanding
For a client to be heard, the sense of empathy needs to be
reached, as the listener makes sense of what is said and “stands in their shoes”
as they reflect back to the speaker there’s a sense of yes that’s what I means
that indicates a level of hearing has taken place.
In therapy then different things can be desired by clients,
firstly there can be a need for holding and a containment, so as the speech is
given so it can be acknowledged and the affect validated and understood by the
other and so held. Secondly there can be
a desire to find out why do these patterns repeat or how do I get out of this
rut that I’m in. In these instances an enrichening of description and therefore
understanding seems to be needed. In
this case the hearing needs to enrich the description, the causal
understandings, so in which case the listening needs to attend with more focus.
This then requires that the shape of the speaking changes to allow this, the
shape of the speaking needs to allow this level of focus to explore.
Meaning
The what, the why and the how are all meaningful aspects for
the client. What I pay attention to, why I say it and how I say it. These can enhance or discourage certain kinds
of relationship, the shape of the how can be such that it makes listening in
detail hard, so the other is kept at a distance. The why of what is said can
perpetuate certain styles of relationship with the other.
As much as the speaking and the listening between two people
has this form, this may be indicative of how the client listens to
themselves. As they think, they speak to
themselves sub-audibly, there is a speaker and a listener. Within perception
there is the sensation that we can listen to, attend to in a certain way.
